Oh Adam....
I've said my peace about suicide and Frankie and what it did to me when my best friend killed himslef almost 20 years ago, and I never thought in a million years that this stupid little podcast would have to mourn the death of another friend, but here we go.
Im old. To the Spector 45 guys, at 37, Im old. But I'm also a parent of two of the coolest, craziest, so NOT alike two little boys you will ever meet. They're awesome; the only thing I live for these days, and I could not imagine what Frank Sr. and Adam's parents are going through. My boys are my soul. My everything, my "Little Sirs". They are absolute and pure and oblivious to anything but mom and dad. I wish it would stay this way forever.
But it wont. They'll grow up into two absolutely completely different people. They'll unfortunately be twenty-something-year-old boys one day, and I think they're going to become two of the coolest young men you'll ever meet. As Adam was. As Frankie was.
And if anything as surreal as this happens to my boys I honestly have no idea what in the hell I would do.
After a very melancholy and sad weekend with my wonderful staff, I FINALLY made it home, sat outside, and listened to music. Really listened to it. Carter's posthumous album, Camille Cortinas' new record, old Spector 45, Record Hop, Killing Joke, The The, the new Decemberists, High Tension Wires, Tom Waits, and all my favorite bands since I was 20ish, music I hate, music I love. Cried. Skipped the crappy songs. Laughed. It was fantastic.
Then I went inside, checked on my two little sirs, squeezed the crap out of them, cried more, and wished that they never had to grow up and that I didn't have to come here and write this.
This must end. And I'm so sad, but so lucky.
Adam, you will be missed. By more than you know.
I've been where these guys were. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE call a friend, call your mom, call me! 214-354-5323 come to my bar for a drink, or call 1-800-273-TALK. I called that number when I was 27. It worked. The little sirs and my bald head will vouch for that.
0 comments:
Post a Comment